Bastard Network Administrator From Hell: Fucking Pron Bots. GOtta Hate 'em

Im sure by now everyone has been plagued by this things. I really wish someone would tell me of a way to physically destroy them

ERROR LOG

Monitor Display Moronica Connectivity
User complains there monitor is not working. After telling them to check if it is plugged in. Go check that it is plugged in. When you discover it is NOT plugged in turn off the monitor, plug it in stand up, stare deeply at the monitor chant some mystical IT chant 0110 0010 1001 1010 then turn the monitor on.

Reverse Capslock Keyboard Syndrome.
Have user, press both shift keys with alternate hands to keys (left to right and right to left) while keeping keys pressed, have them restart their machine.

File Structure Alpha-Numerical Idiocites.
User complains about files not being in alphabetical order. Instruct them to restart there pc until the problem goes away or another one presents itself.

Mail Forwarding No End Loop
User request forwarding of usermail to a mail list that contains the user of the mail being forwarded. Do nothing and watch as there mail box continues to constantly fill up everytime they click send and recieve. When they have decided the problem requires them to phone you a third time. Remove the users from the mailing list.

Application Not Found
When searching for a Network Infrastructure Planner, I came up with nought. So I downloaded Dungeon Crafter III and made some floor tiles, desks and computer gifs and used that to create the floor plan for the Net Arch. Proving once again life is an RPG and Gaming has the solution.

Network Speeds Down
Users complain about network speed being too slow. Kill off all but one LUSER machine and send out a Machine rationing time table for each one, while you isolate the problem.

Information & Observations

Friday February 13, 2009

AdSense Added
Project G33KG34R will follow the Open Source mentallity as far as possible in this regard we plan to make very little money of it and even if we do sell the units at the conclusion of the project we are not going to make continual profit off the devices as they will be completely open source and everyone will be able to change the content of the device, hell we are putting Linux on them most likely and we are pretty sure that if you wanted to you could put Windows on them.

That said, any money generated through AdSense from this blog will go to the Project. Hopefully the adds will become relevant eventually.

Friday February 13, 2009

This country is exceptionally Useless
The necromancer and myself have been trying for days to source out several component for Project G33KG34R and we have found that absolutely nothing useful can be easily bought in this country and what we have found does not sell to the public only Agents or retailers. Trying to find the retailers for the products is also near impossible.

So guess what, CHINA YOUR MY SUPPLIER
Proudly South Africa Logo can kiss my large jiggly ass

Wednesday December 24, 2008

Things I have learned about life, by watching house
01. It is never Lupus
02. Disease can conspire together and kill you
03. Every diagnosis requires a Lumbar Puncher
04. Brain Bi-opsies are the next best thing to a Lumbar Puncher
05. Vicadin makes you cool
06. Breaking into peoples houses will always tell you exactly what is wrong with them
07. Patients Lie
08. Rich people are annoying
09. Black People are defensive
10. Hot women are attracted to old men with limps and canes

Wednesday December 24, 2008

South African Taxis Friend and Foe
You know we give the Taxi's a load of shit especially if we are white, and while it is all justified I have noticed that, on several occasions, Taxis have stopped, full of passengers, on the side of the road. The driver and co-pilot (the irritating guy shouting WWWWWWINEBURG CAPETOWN WYYYYYYNBERG) to help people stuck on the road. Yesterday infact I saw 3 of them stop to help a white guy who's car had stalled and would not start. They all pushe dhis car to the side of the road and help jump start it.

Nice One Taxis, I have a slight respect for you now

High Five Board Of L33TN355

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Fucking Pron Bots. GOtta Hate 'em

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