No Keyboard Found Press F1 To Continue

I get to work on time as usual, sit down at my desk. The phone rings. I stare at it for a moment and it goes silent. I stand up. I sit down. The phone rings. I stare at it some more hoping for a repeat of events, no such luck. I check my chair for some sort of sensor that tells people I'm there. I find nothing. I write it up to IDIOT, I mean END USER super powers.

I decide to answer the phone seeming as the rest of the office is now staring at me oddly again.

"Hello IT Have You Tried Turning It On And Off Again" I drone out in the usual enthusiasm which has been drilled into me from previous jobs
"My Keyboard is typing in Capitals" the Luser replies
"Have you tried turning it on and off again"
"No, how do you turn a keyboard off?"
at this point I decide to care. by care I mean become annoyed
"Okay, who are you again?"
She rambles off her name, that I will never remember, I note down the first 3 letters and check the IP Chart. I note down the address on my Screw with later list.

"Okay what is the problem exactly?"
"When I type, everything comes out in Capitals"
"Is the CAPS LOCK light on?"
"No"
"Are you holding down the Shift Key Constantly"
"No, do you think I'm an idiot"
I move her IP Address to the Screw with Files List
"No You're just a Simple L user"
"A What, Local User, IT Term is LUSER, I understand your problem with this advanced technology, do not worry that is why I am here. Now let me get this straight, It types in Capitals, the CAPSLOCK light is NOT on, and your shift keys are not being pressed?"
"YES!"
"Okay press CAPSLOCK, tell me what happens"
"The Light goes on"
"And when you type?"
"It is typing in lowercase"
Agreed this is a strange phenomenon but I mean really, moving her IP to the Screw with Daily List.
"So what is the problem?"
"The light is ment to be on when it is typing in capitals, but now it is backwards."
"Okay does this really effect your ability to work?"
"No but it is annoying, you must come fix it"
"No it's fine I know what to do, with your left hand press down really hard on the right shift button, and with your right hand press down really hard on the left shift button. make sure you use the correct hands and do not let go. Okay?"
I hear her wrapping her arms around while she stays on the phone using her shoulder.
"Okay. Now what?"
"Now be sure you do not let go of the keys and restart your machine"
"What! How must I do That"
"Thank you For Using IT Support"
*CLICK*

She never called back, i assume this worked. I note it down in the Error log as a positive troubleshooting method for Reverse Capslock Keyboard Syndrome.

And then I blocked her access to the Internet and added man on dog pron to her list of favourite websites.