New LUSER Installed

I arrive at work after my weekend of boozing, to be presented with a new LUSER. New meaning I don't know there IP yet. I soon discovered that she has worked here before and will be standing in for someone who left or died or I killed or left or something. I proceed to enable one of the machines and search the Userlist for her old Username and password.

By this time she has started talking to me in that typically annoying way LUSERS do about "the Internet" and "the face book" and the "double click" and "Windows sucks" At this point i said, "Really you also think windows sucks? wow we have so much in common tell me what other OS do you use? do you prefer a GUI Shell or are you a hardcore power user command prompt all the way baby." I had to hide my smile as I saw her brain go poof in the back of her head. I assigned her new password 4lly0ur842383l0n670u5m4k3y0ur71m3.

She wailed at the length of the password. I told her the password length is randomly determined by the length of time past since you last logged in. I then return to the sanctity of my desk. I discover my coke can collection has been removed from my desk. Darn I was up to 34. Guess someone was tired of me hiding behind it

I go to the staff room to begin my collection anew. As I return to my chair and sit down the phone rings. I answer.
"Hello IT Have You Tried Turning It On And Off Again"
"No I Have Not"
*Click*

A few minutes later it rings again. A different user,
"Hi this is SKREEEEEECH HONK BLARGH, you set up my PC this morning"
"Ah yes IP192.168.0.218 what can I do for you"
"Well I need access to this persons folder and I need email forwarded to me"
"No problem, Ill have it done in a second"
*Click*

I give her viewing access to the folder in question.
My primary goal in this position is to teach LUSERS proper error and requirement reporting. 192.168.0.218 made the mistake of not specifying Who's mail they wanted forwarded. I set up the POST MASTER account to forward all spam to her mail.

I take the Phone off the hook, put my IM on Autoresponse Out to Lunch and load up Baboviolent for another match.